Such a fine boy Tom. Such extravagant ideas. And such a wonderful way with words. So tell me Tom. Why such sordid tastes for things? Why this yearning for all these things so unnatural? Please, at least, try and help me understand.
It’s difficult to put it into words. This feeling. It’s always stuck around in the back of things. This lonesomeness. This feeling that I wasn’t supposed to be in this world. I was brought into it by seediness and loose morals. Scandal and mispairing. I have never known any kind of belonging. I have something of a free pass in this world. A lightness if you like. I have no regard for the highness or lowness of things. Chapels and Palaces. Flea markets, dens and brothels. I walk freely in this world. No thing beneath or beyond me.
Tell me boy. What’s eating you?
The waiting.
The waiting for what?
That thing that will make me feel something. Something that will bring a weight back into my life. I’m waiting for a likeness. A familiarity, you know? Something that could heal this strangeness.
Oh but Tom. You are so loved my boy. You know that don’t you?
I know. And I’m getting there. In accepting that love I mean. In feeling it. Time heals. Mends. I smile a lot more these days. The glass is half full more times than not.
I’m glad to hear that. I really am.
lights a cigarette
Oh you silly boy. You really shouldn’t smoke those you know. They’ll get you in the end.
begins to grin
What? What’s so funny? Why are you smirking?
Ah. I pity you people who like things the way they should be.
You never did make any attempt to fit in anyone’s box did you. Oh your thoughts were always off elsewhere. Stop it. Stop smirking.
begin to chuckle together
Now I’ve got you laughing too. You people and your cliches. Ah would look at that. The rain’s stopped… You know I care for you deeply don’t you?
Yes of course. Always.
Good. Anyways. I’ll be getting off just now. Train to catch.
‘written between places’
Written by Luke Neillis
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